01
Saying no to
Family
Hosting every holiday, again. Being the only one who looks after a parent. Calls whenever they like.
The "No" Script Book
No is a complete sentence. Here are the words.
Word-for-word scripts for every no you've been putting off: family, adult kids, friends, work, your partner, and yourself.
Get the scripts $14
Instant download · 13-page printable book
Spend twenty years as the person who handles things, and "no" starts to feel like a character flaw. It isn't. It's a skill, and like any skill it gets easier with the right words and a little practice.
Most of us know exactly what we want to say. We just don't have the words ready when the moment comes, so the yes slips out first.
This book gives you the words, before you need them.
Pick the one that fits the person and the moment
Soft no
Warm
The relationship front and center. Your first choice with people you love.
Firm no
Short and clear
For when soft didn't land, or when you don't owe more than that.
No + alternative
A smaller yes
No to the request, yes to something smaller that you actually want to give.
A taste: hosting every holiday, again
Soft no
"I've loved hosting, and this year I'd like a break from it. Could someone else take a turn?"
Firm no
"I'm not hosting this year."
No + alternative
"I can't host this year, but I'll bring dessert and stay to help clean up."
Three real situations in each, with all three scripts
Plus a blank space in every chapter for your own.
02
Saying no to
Your adult kids
Babysitting at short notice. Being asked for money. Moving back home, or staying longer.
03
Saying no to
Friends
The invitation you don't want. The friend who only calls to vent. Being the organizer, every time.
04
Saying no to
Work
An extra project on a full plate. Evenings and weekends. The committee, the party, the extra role.
05
Saying no to
Your partner
Plans you don't want to go to. The house running on you. Being volunteered without being asked.
06
Saying no to
Yourself
The automatic yes. Putting yourself last, again. The voice that says it's too late.
When they push back
"But you always do it."
Calm, short answers for the nine things people say when they're used to your yes.
The part nobody warns you about
The guilt afterwards
Name it, check it, let it pass. Guilt often means you did something new, not something wrong.
Your turn
Write your hardest no
The one you've been putting off for months. All three versions, ready before you need them.
Print, cut, keep
Your pocket card
The ten lines you'll use most, for your wallet, your phone case or the kitchen drawer.
Four rules
That make every script work
Pause first. No essay. Say it once, kindly, then stop talking. Apologize once at most.
This is for you if
- Your yes is out before you've checked whether you even want to
- You're the one who hosts, organizes, babysits and picks up the phone, every time
- You know what you want to say, but the words never come in the moment